There’s only so long one can go in todays current environment without talking about the current state of things, here stateside, and the world. I tried my best to stay out of politics, because it is never an easy conversation. However, with things deteriorating by the day, I feel I have to “speak my piece” and make a confession.

First, as you all know, the world is still reeling from a global epidemic known as COVID-19. This is old news, and we’ve all pretty much come to terms with everything we have done in order to “flatten the curve”. We’ve shut down businesses, stopped seeing loved ones, a lot have even stopped working, all as a precaution to keep not only ourselves, but everyone else safe. I won’t go too much into detail about how furious this whole thing has made me and it’s not for the reason you might think. I personally work in a laboratory, and while we don’t actually perform any testing, we make testing kits for various viruses and diseases. As you’d probably expect, we’ve also developed our own COVID test, but again, we don’t actually perform any testing, so I’m at no increased risk by being near said tests, as they have no patient fluids on it whatsoever. I have been one of the lucky few that have been allowed to continue working during this epidemic, and while my company has adapted all the necessary safety precautions, and even changed employee schedules to promote social distancing, work pretty much continues as it did prior to the outbreak. I’m not even sure that I should be using the word lucky. Yes I am lucky that I can still pay my bills, but I am unlucky that I am essentially forced to choose between a higher risk, and falling back into poverty. I often cringe a bit when I see all the commercials towards essential workers. Yes, they are heroes that have allowed society as we know it to continue functioning; but they are also stuck with a similar “choice” of either going to work, or losing their home and going hungry. So while I respect all that they’ve done during our time of need, I can’t help but feel awful for them, because they’re being forced to be on the front lines, with the only other option being loss of income. It is certainly a conundrum that we usually ignore in the “developed” parts of the world. We work to survive, and that’s pretty much all we get. 40 hours of our precious time each week, for a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, and a bed to lay our heads at night. We don’t really have much of a choice in the matter, because we as people have needs that must be met, and the only way of doing so is slaving away for a measly paycheck. The reason I’m angry, is not because I can’t get a haircut, see a movie, or that I have to wear a mask. I’m angry because other people are angry for those reasons. Almost half a million people have died…read that again…HALF A MILLION DEAD. Parents, children, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, friends, family, gone and never coming back. I have no idea how people could see that number and not get hit with the heavy reality that these numbers, this “curve” were living, breathing, loved human beings whose lives were cut short. Now we have these people screaming “tyranny” because they can’t have dinner at a restaurant. It really makes me sick that people care so little of other’s lives, so long as it doesn’t affect them. That is my biggest grievance with this whole mess, yet it gets worse, why does it always get worse?! Because there are too many stupid people on this planet, that think that telephone towers send viruses, or vaccines cause autism. Now they are doing what they do best, as spreading their garbage idiocy during a word crisis, infecting as many people as they can with their baseless fears. It is simply disgusting, for a lack of a better word. How humanity has stood together as a whole against a common threat. There are those who have certainly stood together against this enemy, then there are those who hide behind them, crying because they have to wear a mask for the 15 minutes that they’re in the supermarket…

Not only have we had this mess, is has also gotten worse (even more so) with the inhumane murder of George Floyd here in the US. While I can’t say I’m shocked that the police brutally murdered yet another innocent man, I am still nonetheless disgusted by the actions of my fellow humans, and Americans. Now for my confession, this isn’t easy to say, nor is it pleasant to hear, but I feel that I would be devaluing my own words, would I not tell you this first. During my youth, I most certainly was a racist, you could even say I was a white supremacist. I am not proud of this part of my past, nor am I ashamed by it. I was young, I was stupid, I idolized my father who had immense racist views, and I didn’t truly understand the value of life. I have since grown into a person that values each living thing on this planet. Every. Single. Thing. All life is precious, even the wildlife and plants. I know that people really don’t like the “All Lives Matter” movement, as it was created to devalue the BLM movement, I can’t help but feel that it’s because it was used in response to people crying out to be heard, and to stop being murdered by those who are supposed to protect us. When BLM first gained traction, I was upset that it wasn’t all lives (maybe just the ashes of my former self staying kindled) but I have since seen that it is not saying that only black lives matter, but that those in the black community need OUR help, and that they matter because there are those that still treat them like they don’t. You have racist white people yelling about all lives matter, while black folks are still being murdered by police left and right. Yes, all lives matter, every single life on this planet matters, but we need to see that there are those who don’t feel non-white lives matter, and we need to stand up and tell them that yes, Black lives do matter, Mexican lives matter, Arabic lives matter, Asian lives matter. That it is wrong on every level to judge someone based upon the color of their skin, or the place their ancestors came from. We are all a single human race, and we need to stand up to fight the atrocities that our black brothers and sisters are facing every single day. We cannot let one race get singled out, we can’t let ANY race get singled out. Here is the hard truth, yeah there are a lot of evil white people that devalue life based on ethnicity, but there are people like that of every color. No one should be deemed evil based on the color of their skin. Yes, the world has been rigged against those of color for hundreds of years, and yes, that past cannot just be ignored. However, the only reason to focus on the past, is to learn from it. We have to move forwards, as a singular humanity, past these issues of race, religion, gender, sexuality and nationality, to create a better brighter future for all those who will come after us. But right now, it is the black community that needs our support. It’s not going to be easy, it certainly won’t be pretty, and it may even get more messy, but we have no choice, until every human being is equal. Where every single one of us has the same chance at a life of happiness, no matter what we look like.

Now I know that’s a rather large rant I went on just now, and hopefully you read it all through, and we’re able to take from it what I was trying to get across. I’ve mentioned in other posts, that it is easy to get overwhelmed by all the negative things going on in the world, and there are certainly enough of them going on these days. I myself, have fallen victim to they depressing narrative that is everywhere you look. Ever since I lost my grandmother, deaths have always been my weak spot. Whenever a life is lost, my heart breaks a little more. So you can imagine this year has been difficult for me, as it has been for many people. The fact that we as humans are still separated over such small and petty things, still hurts my soul. There is a lot of good and light in this world, but there is a yang to every yin, meaning there is equal darkness to that light. It doesn’t help that the darkness is most of what we see on the TV and the internet these days. However, I find hope in the fact that the light, the good in people hasn’t been entirely consumed by the darkness that fills others. I only hope, that some day, we can all just live our lives to the fullest extent, without having to worry about the color of our skin, or what is in our hearts. Try your best to stay positive, and help others where you can. The only way to defeat the darkness in the world, is to spread our own light as far as we can.

Thank you for reading, with love:

Alan Wolfgang