So this is a “coping” skill that I used back when I was depressed. Whether or not it is a good coping skill, I have no clue. What I do know, is that it worked for me, especially with my social anxiety. If you read the title, you probably already know what I’m going to be talking about. Yes, humor, a good ol’ joke. I used humor, mostly self-depricating, which is why I’m not sure if this is a good coping skill or not. Since the ECT treatment really only helped me with my depression, I still use this coping skill with my moderate to severe social anxiety. Now I’m not going to lie to you, years of customer retail jobs, where there was forced interaction, really did help when it came to social anxiety. Yet, despite everything I’ve been through, my social anxiety is still pretty bad. I mean, not in situations where there is forced interaction, because for some reason my brain works fine there. But in conversations that I want to have, my anxiety skyrockets. For example, in college, I was referred to as “Grandpa” even though I was in my early 20’s. This was because of my constant physical pain. Yet, I welcomed the nickname, because it allowed me to use it to my advantage in conversation. However, there is one conversation that I will never not be nervous. And I know that it’s perfectly normal to feel normal during this particular conversation. What I’m talking about is asking someone on a date. Now I can hear your chuckle, but I’m serious, ever since my last relationship ended very ugly, I am terrified of intimate conversations. So what do I do? I use my sense of humor, to hide my anxiety. It doesn’t help me ask someone out, but it does help me develop a platonic relationship with my crush. I still have severe chronic pain, so I usually use that, or now that I’m getting older, I use that…as my crush is a few years younger than me. Another issue, is that my crush works with me, and is currently in a relationship…I am by no means a home wrecker, but the fact that I like her, I work with her, and she has a boyfriend makes the anxiety pretty unbearable. So I hide my anxiety behind my humor. Usually it’s not even good humor, but I mean, I try. I am trying to get away from the self-deprecating jokes, as I’m trying to improve my self-esteem. So I don’t know, do you agree? That humor is a good coping skill? If so, how do you use it?
I would love to hear from you guys/girls/non-binary folk. From my mind to yours, Alan Wolfgang, signing off.
Out of My Mind 
It’s basically my superpower: telling self-deprecating humors to make others laugh. It works fairly well.
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I use it all the time and it is perhaps my best coping skill. Humor provides both you, and your audience, a way to discuss something from a distance. You can acknowledge and talk about important things without being confronted with the full gravity of the topic at hand. That is why humor has been so important in political and social activism – it makes a point without escalating emotions in a detrimental way. That being said, I agree with you that you should think about how it impacts you – especially in terms of the *kinds* of jokes you tell. I personally rely more on passive-aggressive sarcasm. This is because, growing up in a very passive-aggressive household, I don’t really understand how to talk “normally.” So, I take the way I know how to talk and I add the obvious sarcasm so that I can communicate my feelings effectively without making my friends and family feel attacked or manipulated… Basically, I think it’s all about functional communication. Just do what works for you.
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Very true, humor is incredibly important in communication. Though, we have to make sure it is not something we use subtracting from the conversation, we need to use it to add to it
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