So the following is how I combat my severe social anxiety. I’m not saying this will work for you, but it works for me, so I figured I’d share.

Step 1- Get a Retail Job

Now I can hear you already…”but Alan…” remember, this is how I combat my SA, not saying you have to do it. Honestly, forcing myself into a position that made me talk to people, complete strangers, especially when there is a rehearsed tag line, made talking to people much easier. It helped me to separate personal and professional interactions. Practicing in the professional side, made the personal side feel much more natural. It really helped that I was getting paid for it too. It was like taking a social training course that paid you, instead of the other way around.

Step 2- Take Risks

So if you know me, which I hope you do by now, I’m by no means a risk taker. However, I am the type of person that jumps in the pool to check the water temp. Diving into social situations that you would usually be uncomfortable with, puts me in a sink or swim mentality. Since I don’t really like looking like a doofus (who does) I usually try my best to swim in these situations. Now, I wouldn’t say develop a persona, or alter ego, but definetly be who you want to become. I have this me that is really outgoing, and great to be around, usually accessed by alcohol, that I pretend to be around new people, even when sober. It’s a fake it till you make it mentality, and it works wonders for me

Step 3- Limit Your Thoughts

Now this one is one of the harder ones to accomplish. Especially for those of us who are chronic over thinkers like myself. So in order to get this to work, I set a number in my head, let’s say 5 for now. When I meet someone, I only allow myself to have 5 thoughts about them. I’m hyper analytical, and really observant, so this was really hard for me. If you go into a conversation telling yourself that you’ll only allow a certain number of thoughts about someone, it allows you to be more open and original.

Now, none of this is easy, and you most likely will fail a lot but it’s the persistence that is key. If you train your brain to be a certain way around people, even if you have to rehearse in front of the mirror every night, you’ll find your social anxiety dwindles in time. Again, this is what worked, and still works for me, so I can’t guarantee that it’ll help you…sorry in advance. However, I hope that even if you take something I said and tweak it to your liking, you can combat your social anxiety too. From my mind to yours, this is Alan Wolfgang, signing off.