One of the few things that gives me the utmost peace of mind, while simultaneously causing unyielding unease, is the concept of time. Time exists as a literal thing, while at the same time assuming the concept we have instilled upon it. Time, as we understand it, moves only in one direction. It continues forwards whether we want it to or not. It does not wait for us, it does not forgive our mistakes, it marches forwards even when we wish it wouldn’t.

There are many instances in my life where I wish to go back, make different desicions with the knowledge I have now. I like to think this is an all too common desire. However, it is impossible as things stand. Sure, in the world of science fiction time travel is possible, and it might one day become reality. But that in itself is a different can of worms entirely. The fact remains, that time will move forwards, and will continue to do so. Such a simple concept, that even children and some animals comprehend it. It gives me solace in times of troubles. Knowing that despite imploding my life, time will continue. The world will not freeze just because I have made a grave mistake. I will have to continue forwards, learning from my mistakes, and avoiding similar ones in the future. The problem being, that I am not very good at this, and tend to learn my lessons through long, painstaking series of mistakes. However, as time continues on, with or without me, I am given endless opportunities to continue learning, continue making mistakes, and continue to grow as a person. I am without a doubt, a completely different person than I was a decade ago. That idea is baffling to me, yet at the same time, makes perfect sense. If time, the world, continues moving regardless of my standing, the only option I am left with is to try my damndest to keep up. This in itself is a simple thing, but certainly not an easy one. It is probably one of the most difficult things to do, in my opinion. To come to terms with the inevitable, and try to not fall behind.

It is a double edged sword by all means. While at times, time can bring me peace, knowing that I cannot stay in place, that I must move forwards; it can also instill fear and anxiety. Getting up once you’ve fallen is a very difficult thing to do. Especially when the hole you reside has a false sense of security. However, even the least attentive can recognize that you are being left behind. The unyielding march of time will abandon you, and then you will truly be lost. Hiding in your hole, ignoring the world passing you by. While that is okay for a pinch, you must pull yourself together, crawl and stumble to keep going. Easier said than done of course, but something we all must do. Until our bones crumble into dust, we must continue to move forwards. Time never stops, neither can we. We cannot beat it, but neither can we give in to it. We must go step for step, even if that is one step forwards, two steps back.

It is a strange thing, to have a single idea give both fear and comfort depending on the context. It really isn’t even open to interpretation either. Time passing you by will either scare you or empower you, and you often don’t get to decide which. Sometimes it will even do both at the same time. I am turning 30 this year, and there are many things I thought I would have accomplished by now. Many things I thought I would have not done, wish I wouldn’t have done. While these things I have done and have not are set it stone, I still have time ahead of me. Sure, I haven’t met these “milestones” I set for myself, but that does not mean that these desires are out of my grasp forever. Granted, there are bound to be things that I will not be able to do, given the time I have left and the outlook of my future. Yet, the future is a total unknown. I understand my past, and use it to guide my future. Make better choices, come to an understanding of who I was, why I did what I did, and how I can do better moving forwards, who I want to become. This of course is just fantasy and wishful thinking, but there is nothing that says that these things cannot become reality. Time marches on, and it is our duty to march forwards with it. We are allowed to take a break when we need it, but we cannot attempt to stop all together. Once we do that, the future itself, with all its possibilities, becomes lost to us. No one knows what the future holds, so the utmost we can do is to hope for the best, plan for the worst, and continue marching on.