To start, I want to say that this is not an invitation or a promotion of permanent brain damage. It is however, a reframing of a normally negative health condition.

So, after reading that little forward, you’re probably wondering where this article is going. Fear not, by the end, you’ll have a better idea. As you all, hopefully by now, know, I have had Electro Convulsive Therapy to treat my otherwise medication resistant depression. Yes, my depression was that bad, that I willingly let them shock my brain for relief. Now I’m not going to act like I know everything about ECT, because I really don’t. Though there is one thing I do know, is that it changed my life, for the better. (If you want a more in depth article on ECT, read Why Choose ECT)

To bring up a little bit of my past, I played football in middle school and high school. I thought it would make me one of the “cool kids” but alas, I was sadly mistaken. Playing football is one of my greatest regrets in life, as it has not only given me permanent brain damage, but has physically destroyed me. Not to mention that there was a whole load of psychological trauma too, but enough about that. I have had, in my life, 4 concussions, 2 of which were severe. I am not saying that they gave me brain damage, oh wait, I am saying that…well, my memory was pretty bad before hand, and was definetly impacted by these concussions.

Why bring up ECT and the concussions, well, both cause memory loss. Which up front, seems like a considerable detriment. However, I am here to inform you, that memory loss might actually be the reason that I’m feeling better. You see, we all have trauma in our pasts, some more impactful than others, but this is no contest. With this memory loss, I was able to focus on today, and live more in the moment, rather than worrying about the past or future. Again, I’m not saying go smash your head against a wall to give yourself memory loss. The point I’m trying to make here, is that many of our mental health problems are exacerbated by thoughts of the past or future. I mean that’s more or less the root of my anxiety. There is an old saying, and I want to quote it, but I don’t remember who said it, eh screw it:

The past is history,

Tomorrow is a mystery,

And today is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.

Basically, what I am saying, is that thoughts of the past or future are usually negatively impactful on our mental well-being. So to combat this, I embraced my memory loss, and just cared about the moment I was in. For the third time, don’t go out and give yourself memory loss. However, you don’t need to lose your memory to live more presently. I’m not going to say it’s easy, because nothing mental illness related is, but it is possible. I believe reframing is actually a CBT technique, probably the only one that stuck with me during my tenure in group therapy. What you have to do is let go of the past, yeah I know that’s easier said then done. Yet, if you really put your mind to it, I know you can do it. So forget the past, everything is already said and done, nothing can, nor should, be changed. Yeah, you caught me, I slipped in a little time travel humor there. So, if you can’t change it, the only reason to think about it is to learn from it. Never make the same mistake twice. Again, easier said then done, I mean I make the same mistakes all the time. Then comes the future, which is still yet to be made. So that is a lot more difficult to forget about then the past. It’s easy for me, because of the memory loss, and my executive function disorder, which makes me awful at planning. So yeah, forget about the past, and try not to worry about the future. Live in the moment, yes this moment right now, because it is right now that the future is being made. So if you want to plan, and build your future, you gotta do it now.

To wrap things up, I’ll mention again, don’t go give yourself memory loss, that is not my goal here. What is my goal, is to get more of you living for today, making today great. And I mean, if today sucks, then let it slip into the past and forget about it. So hopefully most of you can make sense of my rambling, and actually get something out of reading this. I also recommend you bring this up with your therapist, and get their techniques for living in the present. I mean, just a thought, as I am most certainly not a mental health professional. From my mind to yours, this is Alan Wolfgang, signing off.